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Thread: Women troubles

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    can't post; too scared Anonymous's Avatar
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    Cool Women troubles

    I'm 24 years old, young, and excited about the world. I live in Washington state, but I'm in Kentucky visiting family and friends. I think I'm a great guy with a great personality and awesome body. I have great complexion, wonderful hair, I workout everyday (even if it is just for 30 minutes that day) and have a ripped body and ass a you can bounce a penny off of.

    Well, I was hoping to reconnect with some girls I went to high school with, but I haven't spent the time to actually call them up. I've been spending most of my time at the local strip club. I'm really horny and willing to spend a lot of money to get my dick wet. I figure, why go with high school sweethearts when I have the opportunity to hook up with some 18 year old stripper with nice perky tits and a tight ass? Or the older stripper that I kept giving the eyes because she looked fucking amazing in the Budweiser swimsuit? Or any of the black strippers that pick up a dollar off my shirtless chest with their pussy? This shit is crazy. My dick is bulging so hard I swear its going to break the seams of my jeans.

    Maybe you can tell I've never been to a strip club. Anyways, I'm flustered because I'm trying to figure out how I can score with a stripper. I paid $10 bucks for a private lap dance with this little sexy petite stripper Kitten and she wasn't really giving me any information. I offered to pay her $50 bucks just so she could find me some information or maybe hook me up with a girl that was willing to do a little more.

    I even paid a stripper $200 to take me to the back room and I was under the implication that she was going to fuck me. But oh no, I just get blown but not even a full one she stops before I'm gonna blow and it dies down. WTF Bitch. The she had the nerve to try and dig more money out of me.

    I had blue balls so bad last night I jacked off so hard it shot up and hit the ceiling of my room. What the hell does it take to fuck a stripper? Do I offer them some coke or meth or something? If anyone can help me out I'd be thankful and willing to take your advice to the club. If It works, I'll film it and give you a copy of the video. That is if you want it.

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    Senior Member Nermy2k's Avatar
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    Voted +
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    atmosfear did you suck gina's dick
    Quote Originally Posted by atmosfear View Post
    fuck yes.

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    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    great thread would read again
    Andy says:
    prince of persia is more skill than hack and slash
    ShitFace says:
    i dont think skill is a genre of game lol
    Andy says:
    of course it is you have seen the crystal maze havnt you?
    he says what next a skill physical mental?


    Blind people don't see black, they see the same thing you see out of your elbow - VengfulScars

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    can't post; too scared Anonymous's Avatar
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    Cool

    UH? GEE Thanks!

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    Mega Bore Atomic's Avatar
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    Mystery says you got to not pay attention to them then they'll come for you. He also wears a big furry purple top hat.

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    Guys strippers are srsly hard to bone. They won't fuck anyone.

    (buy them cocaine)
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    I CAN'T LABI-STRETCH SIMONJ

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    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    If the anonymous account were renamed gwahir LIKE I SAID TO this would be botb

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    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    mpr seems like the star ps poster
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    yeah obviously we'd all suck our alternate universe dicks there was never any question about that
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear
    I don't know if Obama did anything to make that happen, but I do know that he didn't do anything to stop me from blaming him.

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    Senior Member Meatball's Avatar
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    You know, if that is an accurate description of yourself, you should be able to get laid with out having to pay for it. You should save your $200 dollars and go to a bar, go up to the hottest girls you see, and start talking to them. You don't even have to necessarily be that great looking as I've seen some pretty beat up dudes leaving with very attractive girls.

    And hell, if you are really desperate, then try to score some not so great looking ones for practice. Call it training wheels.

    Regardless, paying for sex is fucking lame. Use all that money you would blow at a lame ass strip club and buy a nice new shirt and some jeans that show off your "ass you can bounce a penny off of."

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    Everybody pays for sex. It's just usually called dinner and a movie AM I RIGHT GUYS? I'm here all week try the fish tip yr waitress
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    I CAN'T LABI-STRETCH SIMONJ

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    cowabunga
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    You know, if that is an accurate description of yourself, you should be able to get laid with out having to pay for it. You should save your $200 dollars and go to a bar, go up to the hottest girls you see, and start talking to them. You don't even have to necessarily be that great looking as I've seen some pretty beat up dudes leaving with very attractive girls.

    And hell, if you are really desperate, then try to score some not so great looking ones for practice. Call it training wheels.

    Regardless, paying for sex is fucking lame. Use all that money you would blow at a lame ass strip club and buy a nice new shirt and some jeans that show off your "ass you can bounce a nermy off of."
    I got my allowance but I spent it all on ice cream

  12. #12
    Senior Member Meatball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    Everybody pays for sex. It's just usually called dinner and a movie AM I RIGHT GUYS? I'm here all week try the fish tip yr waitress
    Well I did mention that you would have to buy cloths and/or drink and maybe buy her drinks to get her drunk enough to think you are good looking, but apparently you can bounce a penny off of your ass so you should be all good with that then.

  13. #13
    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meatball View Post
    Well I did mention that you would have to buy cloths and/or drink and maybe buy her drinks to get her drunk enough to think you are good looking, but apparently you can bounce a penny off of your ass so you should be all good with that then.
    yeah just get some cloths and some chloroform and you should be good to go
    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    of course it's acknowledged by the Catholic Church, since it's true
    For paradise among this world
    Is finding love in boy and girl

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    Senior Member Meatball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    yeah just get some cloths and some chloroform and you should be good to go
    New pickup line:

    "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?"

  15. #15
    Journeyman Cocksmith Mr. E's Avatar
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    You gotta put in the time and the dime to get to the gine.

    Make her think she's yo favorite ho, getter smilin', make her need ya, then fuck it and chuck it.

    Dat's how a pimp flow.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    i can't tell if we're in the throes of a troll toll (to get into the boy's soul) or if there's just one more big floppy douchebag pussywhipped idiot walkin around out there

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    Well if by new you mean rly rly old then yeh
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    I CAN'T LABI-STRETCH SIMONJ

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    can't post; too scared Anonymous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meatball View Post
    You know, if that is an accurate description of yourself, you should be able to get laid with out having to pay for it. You should save your $200 dollars and go to a bar, go up to the hottest girls you see, and start talking to them. You don't even have to necessarily be that great looking as I've seen some pretty beat up dudes leaving with very attractive girls.

    And hell, if you are really desperate, then try to score some not so great looking ones for practice. Call it training wheels.

    Regardless, paying for sex is fucking lame. Use all that money you would blow at a lame ass strip club and buy a nice new shirt and some jeans that show off your "ass you can bounce a penny off of."
    Nobody gets laid without having to pay something. I'm not talking about picking up bar wenches or hitting up old classmates. I'm talking about picking up a grade A fine ass stripper that defies the laws of physics by being a perpetual motion machine on that slicked up stripper pole. This thread is not about desperation. This thread is about ME on the hunt for something more exotic. I want a girl who can slam down on that hard elevated platform doing the perfect splits and who can grind on my dick like no regular girl ever could.

    And if you would never ever pay for sex then you are a pussy.


    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    Everybody pays for sex. It's just usually called dinner and a movie AM I RIGHT GUYS? I'm here all week try the fish tip yr waitress
    True true.

    Quote Originally Posted by Meatball View Post
    Well I did mention that you would have to buy cloths and/or drink and maybe buy her drinks to get her drunk enough to think you are good looking, but apparently you can bounce a penny off of your ass so you should be all good with that then.
    What is your beef with me? I'm looking for sage advice on how to pick up a stripper without turning into a mark. You are on some other tangent.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    You gotta put in the time and the dime to get to the gine.

    Make her think she's yo favorite ho, getter smilin', make her need ya, then fuck it and chuck it.

    Dat's how a pimp flow.
    My fuckin' hero right here. Thats the stuff that makes pimps and angels.

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    Yeah or buy her cocaine.
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    I CAN'T LABI-STRETCH SIMONJ

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    becuse if there's one thing strippers aren't renowned for it's coke habbits
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    I CAN'T LABI-STRETCH SIMONJ

  20. #20
    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    be a pimp
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    yeah obviously we'd all suck our alternate universe dicks there was never any question about that
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear
    I don't know if Obama did anything to make that happen, but I do know that he didn't do anything to stop me from blaming him.

  21. #21
    Band simonj's Avatar
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    or at least own/run a modelling agency
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    I CAN'T LABI-STRETCH SIMONJ

  22. #22
    sponge sponge's Avatar
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    stop being poor and give her more money until she jumps you

    everyone has a price
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

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    sponge sponge's Avatar
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    for instance I could probably get simonj to let me violate his bumbum for 100 million british pounds
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

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    sponge sponge's Avatar
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    of course at some point it becomes cheaper to buy a $2000 round trip ticket to amsterdam and just get a 100 euro lay
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

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    You could have me for a lot cheaper than that spongey boy
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    I CAN'T LABI-STRETCH SIMONJ

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    sponge sponge's Avatar
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    well this is turning out to be quite a night
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

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    Senior Member Meatball's Avatar
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    How am I a pussy because I wont pay for sex? You're a pussy. You're the one asking a bunch of people on the internet how to get laid. I gave you solid advice amigo. More importantly, you don't have to pay anything to get smoking hot girls to dig you except maybe invest some time. There are plenty of girls walking around every city in the world that know how to give it real good and don't have to work a pole to prove it.

    Also, I don't understand how I'm a pussy, but you're the one who is not smart enough to pay a stripper enough money to bounce a penny off of your ass. Sounds pretty lame to me, bro.

  28. #28
    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    If the anonymous account were renamed gwahir LIKE I SAID TO this would be botb
    waaaaaiiiiiiiiiiit a second

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    can't post; too scared Anonymous's Avatar
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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    Yeah or buy her cocaine.
    This, meth, or ecstasy and lots of weed and booze. However, I don't run in the same circles that I use to and I'm not buying off some random junkie. I've been out of this area for so long it be a little difficult to score without having to go through old friends.


    Quote Originally Posted by coqauvin View Post
    be a pimp
    Yeah.


    Quote Originally Posted by sponge View Post
    stop being poor and give her more money until she jumps you

    everyone has a price
    That is a big problem. I can dish out tons of money but I don't want to be a mark where she figures she can take me to the bank just for crazy fucking. I'm trying to do the minimal amount possible to get me some of the most raunchiest sex any man has ever had.

    Quote Originally Posted by Meatball View Post
    How am I a pussy because I wont pay for sex? You're a pussy. You're the one asking a bunch of people on the internet how to get laid. I gave you solid advice amigo. More importantly, you don't have to pay anything to get smoking hot girls to dig you except maybe invest some time. There are plenty of girls walking around every city in the world that know how to give it real good and don't have to work a pole to prove it.

    Also, I don't understand how I'm a pussy, but you're the one who is not smart enough to pay a stripper enough money to bounce a penny off of your ass. Sounds pretty lame to me, bro.
    When did I ask anyone on how to get laid? I'm trying to pick up a stripper and get some wild fucking on. I don't know why you keep raging about that nor why that has anything to do with regular women.

    And you are a dumb pussy because you think that all you have to do is just pay a lot of money. You're just going to end up broke and a known mark. You have no idea how heartless and soulless a stripper is because they don't dance for the fun of it they want to take your money with the least amount of effort. They'll do that to you because you seem like the guy who pays for everything on a date. Hell, if you went into a joint some bitch with fat titties would rub her breast around your cock and you would give her your wallet.

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    Why on earth would you think a stripper would give you the raunchiest sex you'll ever have? They might want you to believe that but it doesn't mean it's true. If you want raunchy sex then fuck a chubby girl. Preferable black. Or catholic.
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    simonj can be a real dick sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by gina View Post
    I CAN'T LABI-STRETCH SIMONJ

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    sponge sponge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    If you want raunchy sex then fuck a chubby girl.
    and face lifelong ridicule
    Preferable black.
    oh god
    Or catholic.
    this is actually excellent advice
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

  32. #32
    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simonj View Post
    Or catholic.
    thread won
    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    of course it's acknowledged by the Catholic Church, since it's true
    For paradise among this world
    Is finding love in boy and girl

  33. #33
    Strangle Hazard thank mr skeltal's Avatar
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    What about a 200lb black Catholic?

    If you have money to spend why don't you just get a quality escort, less chance of STDs and you don't have to dance around the subject of snookie.

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    Senior Member Meatball's Avatar
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    Itt Anonymous grows a pair, gets laid by a stripper, has crazy hot streamy passionately dirty erotic sex, and applies a topical cream to his small genitalia for the rest of his life.

  35. #35
    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    Here's a thought... Tell girls in a bar how you want to fuck them and save yourself the money.

    Unless you're too much of an overgrown school girl to get your demands satisfied, which it sounds like you are.

  36. #36
    judge reinhold gina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
    that hard elevated platform
    i would have gone with hard elevated titanium rod here

    elevated platform just makes me think your dick has a flat wafer-thin piece plateauing on top of the tip
    Quote Originally Posted by DickStivers View Post
    tidus you're not allowed to call gina gines ok

  37. #37
    Senior Member Meatball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    Here's a thought... Tell girls in a bar how you want to fuck them and save yourself the money.

    Unless you're too much of an overgrown school girl to get your demands satisfied, which it sounds like you are.

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    sponge sponge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meatball View Post
    Itt mpr grows a pair, gets laid by a stripper, has crazy hot streamy passionately dirty erotic sex, and applies a topical cream to his small genitalia for the rest of his life.
    ftfy
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

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    i feel like people are scared of ps because of some of the responses given

    but all the questions are just remarkably stupid
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear View Post
    scarf wasn't man enough to do it so queendork pushed herself down the stairs.

  40. #40
    Senior Member Meatball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sponge View Post
    i feel like people are scared of ps because of some of the responses given

    but all the questions are just remarkably stupid
    That and the OP was the first to come out and attack me and call me a pussy. Flaming on....

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