Friend zone?

[Anonymous]

I love a woman I met last summer in a foreign country of our nationality. We were both on vacation. We moved back to our respective United States, and we're only two apart. We have maintained contact since last summer, talking in sprees and then stopping for a while. She is complimentary to me; the awkward girl version of my awkward self.

Once I said that what makes her happy makes me happy. She said she really appreciated that; however, whenever I say that she is cute, she doesn't acknowledge the compliment. She has referred to me as 'my friend' before and 'man' as though I was just a friend. She does not respond to my texts right away, and sometimes waits hours before responding. I know that I'm so in love with her that if she sent me a text I would read it right away; the only reason I might reply late like her is to not come off as desperate/make myself seem busy. I will think that she has forgotten about me and then randomly I'll get a message from her talking about something boring like her biology class - and it'll totally brighten my day. If she doesn't love me then she is definitely stringing me along. I've been wondering what she considers me as all the time. It is always on my mind - I can't get anything done without thinking about her.

Please help me find out what to do. I want to know if she loves me or not! I need to move on if not...I understand the rules are more lax on casual discourse's personal support than LWS's - but please understand you're fucking with my heart here...please don't do that.

Ask me any questions you'd like if it would help you come to a conclusion regarding my situation please.

Thanks

[Mad Pino Rage]

You should hook up with Satori. You two would compliment each other's banal existence.

[Atomic]

This one is simple. Either she likes you as a friend or as a lover, but she likes you. The only way you're going to find out is put yourself out there. Ask her on a date. Make it clear that it's a date. No "Do you want to get together and see a movie?"

[Nermy2k]

stop being self destructive and find a girl within walking distance

[KT.]

How about asking her how she feels about you? If she's really that awkward maybe she's trying not to act desperate just like you.

[Atmosfear]

You're in the friend zone.

Follow my step-by-step guide:
2. Ask her how she feels about you and if she would like to go on a date with you (or whatever the long-distance equivalent would be.)
3. Go find a girl closer to you because she's going to say she likes you as a friend.
4. Don't pine over the closer girl silently. Find a girl you like and then find another girl you like. You'll end up with one of them if you can keep it up with both, because you won't put the pussy on a pedestal.
5. Don't put the pussy on a pedestal.
6. See #5

[Anonymous]

Atmoscheer,

You can't have any idea whether I'm putting the pussy on the pedestal or not. I'm not, but thanks for being so helpful.

[Atmosfear]

I love a woman I met last summer

and we're only two [states] apart

She is complimentary to me; the awkward girl version of my awkward self.

what makes her happy makes me happy.

I know that I'm so in love with her that if she sent me a text I would read it right away; the only reason I might reply late like her is to not come off as desperate/make myself seem busy.

I'll get a message from her talking about something boring like her biology class - and it'll totally brighten my day.

It is always on my mind - I can't get anything done without thinking about her.

Either you live life thinking the world is a Train song or you've put the pussy on a pedestal. That's not the way modern courtship sounds, and modern courtship includes the friend zone.

[Atomic]

I hate doing this but Atmos is right. you're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

[simonj]

You're confusing putting her on a pedestal in my mind with my actions in real life. I treat her like a friend.

I KNEW IT!!!

[simonj]

Also, you're totally putting the pussy on a pedestal. You're confusing putting the pussy on a pedestal with not putting the pussy on a pedastal. You're definitely doing the former and not the latter.

[Atmosfear]

I don't know who mrbazoun is so I am surprised he felt the need to use anonymous

Or stop posting after outing himself, actually

[faesce]

love is a fickle thing that if returned, shapes your soul, and if denied, destroys it.

do not ever, under any circumstances, convince yourself you love someone before you've made it clear to that person that you're in it as more than a friend. fuck, i can't even conceive how you can love someone while they have no idea. it sounds destructive as hell, not gonna lie.

[ShitFace]

it is faesce, it is...

[gwahir]

friend zone or not, you're two states away. it's just not sustainable. do you remember that story about the really successful relationship that began long-distance between people who had previously been friends? yeah, me neither.

pussy pedestal or not, you've allowed yourself to become too invested in this girl before actually starting anything with her. sirens going off right there: you've doomed the relationship before it could start. let's say something actually DOES happen between you (and it won't; see "two states away" entry) -- it can go only one of two ways:

(1) she feels something for you, but nothing compared to your "love" for her, leaving you feel unfulfilled and her feeling guilty. fun fact, this is sort of why my last girlfriend broke up with me: i told her i loved her, quite casually, and made it clear i wasn't expecting reciprocation from her before she was comfortable. i said that i find it easy to tell people i love them, and that me saying "i love you" to her was as true as if i were to say it to any other of my dear friends. to her, love was much more complicated and Serious Business than that, so she never could say it back. i was fine with it, because i always felt it from her, even if the phrase "i love you" meant two different things to us. but she felt such a keen guilt about not saying it back to me that she had to end the relationship because she thought she was hurting me. (then later she hurt me really badly. subject for another entry.) as you can see, not a fun option.

or (2) she is as crazy about you as you are about her, but that intensity of feeling was artificially created by the distance between you and the mutual appreciation of each other's familiar awkwardness. this will wear off quickly, and then you'll be in a malfunctioning long-distance relationship where likely one of you is still invested and the other is resentful. fantastic!

you don't have a winning scenario here. find a girl in your state, and don't fall in love with her till you're dating her. and even then wait for a while.

love is a fickle thing that if returned, shapes your soul, and if denied, destroys it.

do not ever, under any circumstances, convince yourself you love someone before you've made it clear to that person that you're in it as more than a friend. fuck, i can't even conceive how you can love someone while they have no idea. it sounds destructive as hell, not gonna lie.

hah, this is actually really wise advice, even though there's about a 65% chance faesce is just screwing with everyone

[Anonymous]

thanks y'all, some wise words put less obnoxiously than others, and i have actually toned it down recently. i'll just wait this one out.....and ya no real reason to use anonymous but who gives a terd anyway

[ShitFace]

I'd also like to add that we're using the idea of falling in love as if its a choice, which it isn't.
Just try not to fall into that hole before you know she feels the same.

[faesce]

I'd also like to add that we're using the idea of falling in love as if its a choice, which it isn't.
Just try not to fall into that hole before you know she feels the same.

i would like to state for the record that i believe it is a choice

[ShitFace]

lol good luck with that

[DaiTengu]

hey guys, in future PS topics where someone outs themselves, try not to call them out on it in PS. tia.

[simonj]

11:20pm? Yeah sorry i wasn't sober*

[simonj]

*probably¹

[simonj]

¹definitely

[simonj]

probably mre sober than i am now though AMIRITEDJWOLFORD????!!!!

Oh yeah he doesn't use this site anymore

[simonj]

although even drunk i would not have done that in the cousin-fucking one

[simonj]

unless it was sponge I BET IT WAS SPONGE!!!

[sponge]

I regret that I have but one posirep to give to drunk simonge

except that last post I don't do circlejerking

[simonj]

oh I had forgotten about all that

[coqauvin]

lol good luck with that

unrequited love is merely an obsession

[Ansel]

I think love is life ...

[Vengeful Scars]

Ansel, thank you for that.

Also, who the fuck are all these anonymous posters, we don't even have that many members.

[gwahir]

mpr

[faesce]

mpr

[mutton]

gigs

[simonj]

She does not respond to my texts right away, and sometimes waits hours before responding. I know that I'm so in love with her that if she sent me a text I would read it right away; the only reason I might reply late like her is to not come off as desperate/make myself seem busy.

Do people actually do this? If I don't respond to a text right away it's because I'm busy or because I'm not near my phone or because the text wasn't interesting enough for me to want to reply to right away. I've never in my life delayed a text to change the way I am perceived by that text.

[Atomic]

If I don't respond to a text it means one of a few things.

1: Conversation is over... SHUT UP
2: I'm busy, I'll respond later.
3: I'm busy, I'll respond later. BUT I FORGOT, SORRY!

[mutton]

unrequited love is merely an obsession

are you saying all obsessions are by choice?

[gwahir]

obsession for men

[coqauvin]

are you saying all obsessions are by choice?

nope

[Vengeful Scars]

You know, I'm actually fucked up about being friendzoned right now. There's this girl I'd really like to bone, I think she may be going too, but I am best friends with her older brother(he's 30 she's 23, I'm 23), and I've known her for a few years... I just don't know wtf is going on. I can't bring it up because I live with her and her father, and I don't want anything awkward to happen if I bring it up, or try anything. That, and I don't want a relationship, since the woman I thought I was going to spend my life with ripped my heart out