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Thread: Converstion with my phone/lover..

  1. #1
    Senior Member Beef's Avatar
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    Default Converstion with my phone/lover..

    Listen, we need to talk. You know I love you right??? Like you've been with me for like almost 2 years now and its been great, it really has - but. I'm sensing a disconnect between you and I.
    Now don't be mad cause I'm not leaving you anytime soon. What we have is too precious to just throw away but you have to understand - others have propositioned me. Of course, I turned them down but I want to let you know, you have to work on you, so that I don't have the urge to find soemone younger and more vibrant.
    You see, I was on the internet today... And I saw a video of the HTC Hero running on Google's new Android Operating system. I KNOW even looking at another OS is wrong but I'm sorry, the temptation was just to much. And you know what? I'm sorry but I liked what I saw. It was pretty and flirty and it wanted to do things for me that I know asking you to do is just too much. I need more from you.
    Now please stop sobbing, I know this is hard to hear and the only reason I'm bringing this up is because I want this to work. If I didn't want to fix this I would just leave. But I'm here. First of all, its time you got a decent browser. It pains me to see you struggle bringing up a site that others have no issues rendering. As you know I've resorted to third party browsers to get my work done - why don't you want to better yourself???
    Its like your stuck in the past!
    And while I'm getting stuff off my chest, I WANT the ability to customize you. I know I can dress you up all pretty with themes ...
    But that's just makeup. Ugly, chalky, clunky makeup covering your ugly face. You need plastic surgery. I want to be able to operate on you whenever I want so its like a different face when I get bored. Sometimes the software you run on is more important than the hardware you have. Even after constant hardware upgrades, your core is the same old BLAH.
    Now its not all bad, I mean your keyboard is hands down the hottest thing you got going. I mean wow, look at that keyboard. I can go all night on you and I know you can take it and I enjoy giving it to you.
    But there needs to be more to us than just a great keyboard. I want to be able to do things to you without you freezing up on me randomly when your not in the mood, I know sometimes its your time of the month so I just ignore it but I'm sick of pampering you with a new OS versions every month so you like being with me again.
    And yes I know you let me talk to my friends with ease on BB Messenger, and that's one of the things that have kept us so close for so long.
    I love that you like my friends.
    But Android, she like let's me hang out with them...
    I can like actually see them and find out where they are and who they are with and what they are doing - without even speaking to them.
    Its like a whole new kind of attachment that I've been longing for without even knowing it. Now I know your upset...
    I feel that I should give you time to process what I've said.
    Just remember, if we break up - it'll be because of you, and your disability to not please me like others have offered.
    I guess I'll go sleep on the couch tonight....

  2. #2
    ⎷⎛⎝⎷⎛⎝⎷⎛⎝⎷⎛⎝ Snead's Avatar
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    tl;dr

  3. #3
    Merry fucking Christmas Atmosfear's Avatar
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    Was this a copypasta or did you make a tl;dr that bad all on your own?

    Either way, you're going to suffer punitive damages for this awful post.

  4. #4
    cowabunga
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    i am going to print that in size 72 font and frame it over my bed so i can read it while drifting off to sleep every night

  5. #5
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    Go with the G1 android and have a full keyboard too ya know.
    "Back in the old, dark days of the internet when men were men, women were men, and children were FBI agents, no one cared what people thought of them"

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