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Thread: International Terrorism Alert Levels

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    Senior Member fm2176's Avatar
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    Default International Terrorism Alert Levels

    I've seen this circulating on a few other sites and thought I'd share it:

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

    The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get those Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies 'just in case'.

    Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

    And in the southern hemisphere:
    New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

    Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be al'right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

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    FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU Anonymous D's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anne5965 View Post
    hope everyone would realize the essence of having peace in the world.
    it's very pleasant to imagine living in a world free from stress, violence, war, chaos and disorder.
    there's nothing like wishing a bountiful and peaceful living for families and people close to our hearts and to upcoming generations.
    i wish that there's no more terrorism and that terrorists would somehow realize that killings are not the answers to their demands.
    Wish in one hand, and shit in the other. Let me know which one gets filled first.
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    roses are red,
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    i'm gonna rape you

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    I had a dream

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    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous D View Post
    Wish in one hand, and shit in the other. Let me know which one gets filled first.
    choosehottubsdirect reviews
    steve barbarich
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    yeah obviously we'd all suck our alternate universe dicks there was never any question about that
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmosfear
    I don't know if Obama did anything to make that happen, but I do know that he didn't do anything to stop me from blaming him.

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    Yea, I saw that. Im just kinda confused about the response that looks like spam, but actually has SOMETHING to do with the topic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    roses are red,
    violets are blue,
    deathmaster numbers,
    i'm gonna rape you

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    I had a dream

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    Senior Member DAVIDSDIVAD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous D View Post
    Yea, I saw that. Im just kinda confused about the response that looks like spam, but actually has SOMETHING to do with the topic.

    ITT: you realize that spambots are all just chinese people

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    I wish I got paid to spam forums.

    You could like pay people in something called Style Points, and they could cash them in for money. That sounds like a great idea.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    roses are red,
    violets are blue,
    deathmaster numbers,
    i'm gonna rape you

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    I had a dream

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