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Thread: Brazilian Cannibals Sold Human-Flesh Empanadas [NOW AVAILABLE AT TACO BELL!]

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    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
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    Cool Brazilian Cannibals Sold Human-Flesh Empanadas [NOW AVAILABLE AT TACO BELL!]

    In an easy frontrunner for the worst story of the week, three people in Brazil have confessed to killing and eating at least two women, baking their victims’ flesh into empanadas, and selling the human-flesh-stuffed empanadas to their unsuspecting neighbors.

    According to Fox News Latino, police became suspicious of 51-year-old Jorge Beltrao Negromonte da Silveira when he revealed that he was the writer behind a 2009 book called Revelations of a Schizophrenic, which chronicles his obsession with killing "evil" women.
    Police also arrested da Silveira’s wife and mistress, who lived together and helped lure victims to the house under the pretense of hiring a nanny, according to The Huffington Post.
    Possibly the most horrible thing about the already quite horrible story is that the trio was living with a 5-year-old girl who is suspected to be the daughter of a 17-year-old named Jessica, whom they murdered in 2008.
    The remains of two women were found buried in the suspects’ patio. Enraged neighbors and possible empanada customers burned the house to the ground on Thursday.
    http://www.thedailymeal.com/brazilia...lesh-empanadas

    I heard this a few days ago and was meaning to post it, so here it is. Just nasty.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

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    Senior Member Hippocrass's Avatar
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    man scarf i don't know what you're talking about with the title you know taco bell never uses real meat
    oh

  3. #3
    Strangle Hazard thank mr skeltal's Avatar
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    Scarf != MPR

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    Mega Bore Atomic's Avatar
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    Man that's brazilliant!

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    Senior Member Hippocrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick Scarf View Post
    Scarf != MPR
    it does at 2 am after 8 hours of work
    oh

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    err at any rate they're eating minced people pies.

    makes me wonder what they tasted like.
    Last edited by sycld; 04-20-2012 at 06:54 PM.


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    Dr. Freebie Drunkmike's Avatar
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    Can't help but wonder what it tastes like. Probably tastes better aat 4am!

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    Sexual Deviant Vengeful Scars's Avatar
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    dammit, why couldn't I be in Brazil?

    I have a genuine curiosity for the taste of human flesh. I want to try it at least once before I die. But I can't kill a whore, because she's just trying to earn a living for her family.
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  9. #9
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    Just pull an Armin Meiwes and put an add out on the internet. I bet you could find someone who wouldn't even want to get slaughtered in the process, and would just part with a leg or something. Unless of course the slaughtering is part of the process for you.

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    Sexual Deviant Vengeful Scars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sododgy View Post
    Just pull an Armin Meiwes and put an add out on the internet. I bet you could find someone who wouldn't even want to get slaughtered in the process, and would just part with a leg or something. Unless of course the slaughtering is part of the process for you.
    I'm no serial killer. But how would you know what good meat is on a human? Someone who works out, probably too tough. An old person? Probably gross. A baby.... sweet, tender, and juicy.
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vengeful Scars View Post
    I'm no serial killer. But how would you know what good meat is on a human? Someone who works out, probably too tough. An old person? Probably gross. A baby.... sweet, tender, and juicy.
    Well of course you aren't a serial killer. That would imply that you've murdered multiple people, and you clearly would have eaten one of them already. You could find one person who wants to die (once again, unless making that decision for them is part of the deal), and that way you can find out which parts are the best. After that, start taking volunteers who don't want to die, but are willing to separate with what you want (or the non fatal parts you'll settle for). Then, assuming you've attained the hunger, you can start getting choosy between old, young, fat, athletic, etc. People are fucked up man, you could find yourself an entire human being buffet on the internet.
    Last edited by sododgy; 04-29-2012 at 03:34 PM.

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    sododgy.... I think I like you. You wouldn't wanna part with any body parts would you?

    Or how about eat some people with me? I think it'll have to include a trip to the rainforest in South America.
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  13. #13
    Senior Member Hippocrass's Avatar
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    sododgy is gonna come home in a doggy bag
    oh

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    I think he'll make a decent flams poster just based on that little cannibalistic conversation we had.
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  15. #15
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    I have no interest in being eaten, but I'm down to try some human meat. Why not? Of course I'm only interested if it's free range, organic, cruelty free meat. And by free range, organic, cruelty free meat, I mean they ran, were vegan, and had their brainpan crushed as early in the process as possible. I'd be happy to assist in the tenderizing process. Truth be told, I've always wanted to act out scenes from Casino...

    I hope you can grill, because I'm shit with anything but eggs.

  16. #16
    Sexual Deviant Vengeful Scars's Avatar
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    I can cook a damn good steak. We don't need to worry about grilling, because I'm awesome.
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  17. #17
    Mega Bore Atomic's Avatar
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    You could try coon meat...

  18. #18
    Sexual Deviant Vengeful Scars's Avatar
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    I would like to try out raccoon, and all the other Appalachian delicacies. Things like squirrel, Raccoon, opossum etc. Or did you mean coon as in Mr. E?
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  19. #19
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vengeful Scars View Post
    I would like to try out raccoon, and all the other Appalachian delicacies. Things like squirrel, Raccoon, opossum etc.
    well first they're called possums.

    and second woodchuck and deer are more often served up as vittles than squirrels or raccoon up here.

    Or did you mean coon as in Mr. E?
    they're also served up as vittles too, in a pinch.


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    I'm a Tennessean, i still use the O because I'm cool. Deer is awesome, venison in stew is amazing.

    I've never had woodchuck. Maybe I'm thinking of Ozark? I'd like to eat weird shit is what I'm getting at
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  21. #21
    Senior Member Nermy2k's Avatar
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    i was going to post that possums and opossums are different animals (which is technically true) and then I googled it to double check and y'all americans make things a lot more confusing than it has to be when it comes to possums / opossums
    Quote Originally Posted by Nermy2k View Post
    atmosfear did you suck gina's dick
    Quote Originally Posted by atmosfear View Post
    fuck yes.

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    Sexual Deviant Vengeful Scars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I was right
    Some believe that possums and opossums are both the same animal. This is quite incorrect, however.

    The "possum" of North America is just a shorter name for an opossum, but true possums are different from opossums, and not related at all, except by virtue of both animals being marsupials.

    Possums belong to the family Phalangeridae and order Marsupialia, while opossums belong to the order Didelphimorphia, although they are also marsupials.
    Opossums are found only in North America, although there is a "water possum", also known as the yapok, which is found in central and South America.
    True possums are found in New Guinea, Australia (including Tasmania), Sulawesi (Indonesia) and a few other small islands in the Pacific region. Although not native to New Zealand, the brush-tailed possum was introduced into that country over a century ago and has subsequently become a pest.
    The North American Opossum has a bare tail. All varieties of Australian possums have furry tails.
    There are many varieties of possums in Australia (and New Guinea), including Gliders and the Cuscus. There are more limited species of the opossum.
    Captain Cook's botanist, Sir Joseph Banks, named the Australian animal "Possum", referring to it as "an animal of the Opossum tribe" because he believed there was a physical resemblance.
    Opossums were named by Captain John Smith in 1612.
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  23. #23
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    well in deeze here parts dere's only possums an' if you don't like it you can geeeet the heeeeeell out


    hey wait dere feller... you gotta purdy mouth


    PANDAS
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    Atheists are quite right

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    Sycld.... I'm from Tennessee, I've been to DC, I don't think I've ever met anyone from the capital who speaks like that, around deez hur perts we be gettin plenty of eet.

    I do have a pretty mouth, if I do say so myself, thanks for noticing.
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  25. #25
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vengeful Scars View Post
    Sycld.... I'm from Tennessee, I've been to DC, I don't think I've ever met anyone from the capital who speaks like that, around deez hur perts we be gettin plenty of eet.
    I didn't grow up in DC. I grew up in the Appalachians.

    I know what country puddin' is.

    I do have a pretty mouth, if I do say so myself, thanks for noticing.
    Like I said your blurry photo looked promising.

    And you'd just have AIDS which is now a treatable chronic condition instead of a poop-shooter whose needs won't be met and will soon enough be just another underdeveloped adult unable to make it.


    PANDAS
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    Atheists are quite right

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    Sexual Deviant Vengeful Scars's Avatar
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    Are you saying that you have AIDS and want to infect me? I'm not into the bug catching scene man.

    That brings back memories of that 'barebacking' forum. Those g(a)uys were pretty sick, and the more diseases you had, the more attractive you became to the members.

    Quote Originally Posted by from memory
    HEY GUYS GREAT NEWS! I HAVE A SUPER HIGH WHITE BLOOD CELL COUNT AND IT'S LOOKING PROMISING THAT IT'S HIV, PLUS I ALSO CAUGHT GONNAHERPASYPHILLAIDS TOO!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by the other jackasses
    ZOMG I'm soooo jealous!
    Please tell me the vast majority of the gay culture isn't like that. I could ask some of my gay friends, but I'm afraid they'd get offended, because I asked, or because I don't approve of THAT life choice(bug catching, not homosexuality).
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

  27. #27
    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vengeful Scars View Post
    Are you saying that you have AIDS and want to infect me? I'm not into the bug catching scene man.
    nah dog. aids is the preggers of gays. and i ain't gay-preg-nant.


    then again the straights' aids is also aids.

    Please tell me the vast majority of the gay culture isn't like that. I could ask some of my gay friends, but I'm afraid they'd get offended, because I asked, or because I don't approve of THAT life choice(bug catching, not homosexuality).
    oh yeah. like i said we gays can't give birth to humans so it gives us the gift of using our bodies to reproduce and replicate a biological entity.



    ...

    no... just... no. hiv often causes gays to be shunned by other gays.


    PANDAS
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    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
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  28. #28
    Senior Member Hippocrass's Avatar
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    implying that sycld is not your friend.
    oh

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