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Thread: Tie Me Kangaroo Down and Make Him Go Cold Turkey

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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    Default Tie Me Kangaroo Down and Make Him Go Cold Turkey

    Wallabies Getting High off Poppy Crops

    Unlike their larger mainland cousins, the wallabies of Tasmania appear to be more trippy than Skippy. No lesser an authority than the island's attorney general has discovered that hungry marsupials and thousands of acres of legal opium poppy fields do not mix.

    "We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Lara Giddings told a budget hearing on Wednesday.

    Nor does the problem end there. Even drugged-up marsupials, it seems, cannot break free of the physical law that demands that what goes up must come down.

    "Then they crash," said Giddings. "We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."
    British animals appear to be more conservative in their choice of intoxicants. Last October, a drunk pony called Fat Boy had to be rescued from a Cornish swimming pool after gorging himself on fermented apples and falling into the water.

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    Inb4 Gwahir tells me wallabies =/= kangaroos.

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    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    Wallabies =/= kangaroos boss.

    Awesome story though. There are opium fields in Aussiland?
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Toki
    We's not goes downs that dusty roads again!
    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles
    Toki is that straight vadka? It's not even noon...

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    Well, Tasmania, which is basically the same thing.

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    Ambulatory Blender MrShrike's Avatar
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    Well except no not really.

    When any of the pointy headed denizens of Tasmania move to the mainland, it is not uncommon to hear them asked the question "so when did you move to Australia?"

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    look, it's a victrola's Avatar
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    no wonder the wallabies are doing crop circles

    one head is looking straight ahead, the other is leaning left
    quotes from the internet

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    mutton mutton's Avatar
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    those haitians got nothing on these marsupials

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