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Thread: Man Commits Suicide After Learning Harry Potter Spoiler

  1. #1
    ⎷⎛⎝⎷⎛⎝⎷⎛⎝⎷⎛⎝ Snead's Avatar
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    Default Man Commits Suicide After Learning Harry Potter Spoiler

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-b..._b_231271.html

    Quote Originally Posted by dumb fucker
    HUDSON, OHIO (The Borowitz Report) -- A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling movie, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." 



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    Band simonj's Avatar
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    I'm not sure satire belongs in WTF news, but it had me going for a minute. Or at least until I read the words 'Model U.N.'

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    So he was a huge harry potter fan but never read the books?

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    Yes. Except he never existed. Kind of like Jesus. Or John Kerry.

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    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    i wonder what his reason for living was up until harry potter

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    Being made up by Andy Borowitz?

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    Senior Member ShitFace's Avatar
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    i hope so

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    ◕ ◡ ◕ pandar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShitFace View Post
    i hope so
    Your post is so l33t i think im going to fall over
    Quote Originally Posted by Stephen Fry
    Oh don't look at me like that, you fucking pig eyed sack of shit

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    McTroy MrTroy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandar View Post
    Your post is so l33t i think im going to fall over
    more like fail over amirite?
    Quote Originally Posted by DickStivers View Post
    I hope I haven't missed my chance to join MrTroy 4 Life
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    I blame Obama. That nigger.
    Quote Originally Posted by benzss View Post
    when mrtroy makes a valid point about your posting, you should probably kill yourself
    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    This site was always meant to end with a gay gangbang. It's destiny.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    I don't consider myself a racist, but I fucking hate niggers.
    Quote Originally Posted by MrTroy View Post
    Gwahir and I have this little ongoing tiff. He seems to have that with a number of people who think he is a pretentious faggot.
    Quote Originally Posted by hydro View Post
    I'd rather fuck a child

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