Quote Originally Posted by gismo View Post
When I wipe my arse, I am thorough, I really go to town on my arse. Mainly because it is hairy...don't ask me how I know that, I'm not gay, it just is.
I think anyone knows whether or not their ass is hairy. It's not a question of being gay. If you said, "my friend's ass is hairy..." well then there you go.

Suggestion: It's risky to post your routine on the internet. You don't know who's reading it, and there's potential for people to take jokes.

As an aspiring stand up comic myself, I keep all my routine ideas in a notebook and I tell no one (except for my parents) about ideas and thoughts I have. It's just for your protection of your comedy styles and your writing. (I'm not going to steal anything.)

Another thing is to put yourself in the audiences' many pairs of shoes. You have good ideas, I just feel like the explainations may be a bit long winded. Remember: Your audience came there to be entertained. They're not really looking for big long explainations of the joke. I understand the story-format is what you wanna work with, but keep in mind the people you're telling it to. I'm talking about the OP.

And one more suggestion: Don't say to your audience "I know what you're thinking." Especially if you are bombing, the audience won't want to be told what they're thinking. Because all you need is that one asshole heckler saying, "No, I'm not thinking that." or something. Avoid that and use, "Some people might think..." or even just "And I think..."

Just some help.