For my last birthday the only present I received at all was a battery powered spinning fork (for spaghetti or noodles) from my 13 year old sister. Also, I spent the entire day travelling to Scotland and thanks to delayed trains I didn't arrive at my dad's house till half past midnight and then I had to be up at 7 the next day to work at the literary festival my stepmum runs. Also, I was ill and on antibiotics so I couldn't even drink all the free champagne at the subsequent awards dinner.

Still didn't break my top 5 worst birthdays