Quote Originally Posted by Satori_Everything View Post
So I'm on the bus right. The bus stops. The most beautiful person- a girl I ever saw in my opinion in my 23 years of life gets on the bus. I'm hoping she sits beside me. She walks to the back of the bus and sits down between two girls. So I was sad. Then I look out the window.
For some reason she got up and sat beside me. I'm like thinking in my head, woah cool she's actually sitting beside me, I wonder why she moved. Then I look around to see another empty seat and some more. And I'm wondering why did she choose to sit beside me of all people. Does everyone hate me because of this?
I never thought that girls could get that beautiful. I wanted to talk to her so I opened my mouth. But no sound came out. I think I was afraid to talk to her. If I said something, what if she moved and sat beside someone else, that would make me so sad, sadder than I have ever been in my life. Or maybe I was in shock because I never saw a girl as beautiful before or thought that it could be possible that a girl could be that hot actually exist.
Then I thought what if I find her attractive, but no one else does much, then people might think I'm a freak. And what should I say to her? Why can't I say anything?
Guys, why couldn't I say anything, no matter how hard I tried? Not even a hi or how are you or ask for the time or for directions or hey what's up. Is there any way I can see her again? If so what should I say to her? If I can speak. Should I have said something, assuming I could? Am I a coward/wimp/scaredy cat or something? I thought if I said something, I might sound really desperate and she might move to another seat by someone else.
I feel so mad at myself because I might never see her again and I didn't even talk to her. Possibly because I was too chicken shit. I feel like such a coward. I guess I thought if I said something to her and she didn't like me I might start to cry or something. I felt really nervous. Or I thought what if someone was homophobic on the bus/hates lesbians? Or what if people laughed at me if I said something to her? Or what if she didn't want to talk to strangers/me? Or if I freaked her out by talking to her?
I also thought why would she possiby like me? She could do way better than me. I'm way out of her league and what if she knows it too- she probably does.
you've been 23 for the past six years