I was depressed like you for 3 years. It started back in 2005. My step-grandfather died in Feb. but that was only the start. Depression struck once, I got over it. Little did I know that it would almost kill me. Just a few short months later, I found out I had Hep C from a blood transfusion. I began medication on June 24th 2005. Four days later, my grandmother died. She had always been close to me, we were neighbors. She died of cancer. One of the side effects of the Hep C medication was severe depression. I also began losing hair and feeling extremely tired all the time. It got to the point where I could no longer function normally. I used to make fun of depressed people, "oh they should just cheer up". I got kicked in the ass by it, and having been there, I feel terrible about what I used to think. As 2005 progressed on, it only got worse.

By the next year, I thought I was going crazy. I was having thoughts that life was just a movie, I was watching a movie that would never end. I was seriously concerned about my mental health, but I refused to tell anyone. I graduated high school, which helped a bit, but the next summer was the same as the last. More depressed and strange thoughts.

During this time, my depression was worsened by the fact that I had nobody I could talk to, or consider a real friend. I had no girlfriend, which would later become another problem all its own. Later that year, I started college, which really wasnt for me. I was failing classes, because I saw no reason to work at it. I thought "I have nothing to live for, whats the point?" This was probably the lowest point of all, when I seriously thought about killing myself.

Fast-forward to late 2007. Life had gone pretty much the same, til October. I finally got my first "real" girlfriend. She was definately not the best looking girl, but hey, I thought she "loved" me. Boy was I wrong. I ended up getting her pregnant, and am just now dealing with having a son. I wish I had never met her, but I guess hindsight is 20/20.

In 2008, I decided I was going to end it. Not end my life, like I had wanted to do just a couple years before, but get out of this depressed state. I moved out by myself to an apartment in a new city. I met new people, good and bad. I started a new school, learning to work on cars. The four year college thing wasnt for me. Ive met the best girlfriend I could ever want, who still deeply loves me even after finding out all of this. We have been together 8 1/2 months. My life is now going great. Every day I try to do something new, it helps alot. I look forward to a great future with my girlfriend and friends, but I never forget about the time in my life where I truly felt what it was like to be seriously depressed.