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Thread: Need help with love stains

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    Senior Member Sir Bifford's Avatar
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    Default Need help with love stains

    My sofa has love stains on it. Quite a few. It's fun to look at but I have friends come over and they probably don't want to sit on a love stained sofa. Itís probably a combination of pussy juice, ejaculate, lube and sweaty butthole. I understand that I should limit such activies to my office chair but sometimes it's time for love-making when the mood strikes. This is a fairly new suede couch, which I paid a pretty penny for so I would like to figure out a good way to remove said stains. I thank you in advance.

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    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
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    For and immediate fix, try flipping the cushions or a throw blanket.

    Here are some solutions I found for you.

    Blot with a clean cloth and then use lukewarm water and a clean cloth to wipe the spill. The cloth should not be soaking wet, just damp. Brush the area with a suede brush and while brushing, a blowdryer can be used.

    Rub suede gently with a bath towel to restore some of its nap.
    Remove dry stains and marks from suede by gently rubbing a pencil eraser on the affected area. For wet stains lay a paper towel on top of stain to absorb most of the liquid. Do not apply any kind of stain remover or other products, especially if you want to have it professionally cleaned. This can interfere with the cleaning process.
    Brush with a suede brush.

    Otherwise, you might be best off getting the cushions professionally cleaned.

    Hope I helped.
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    Pill popping nihilist Cryptic's Avatar
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    You don't want to mess around with suede. It's real easy to fuck it up and once you've done that, it can rarely be corrected. I'd just get a pro to clean it. Sure, of course they'll know what it is, but most pro cleaning companies do shit like suicide cleanups, a little cum isn't going to put them off, and if it saves your expensive couch then it's worth it.

    In the future either 1) do not buy expensive couches or 2) fuck elsewhere.
    Last edited by Cryptic; 12-25-2008 at 01:01 PM.

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    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Mix about 2 tablespoons of baking soda with a glass of water, and then add about 2 capfuls of hydrogen peroxide. After its done bubbling, give it 15 minutes to settle, and pour that on a clean cloth so that it isn't like, soaking wet, but its damp, and dab the stains with it.
    always works on everything else.

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    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    Mix about 2 tablespoons of baking soda with a glass of water, and then add about 2 capfuls of hydrogen peroxide. After its done bubbling, give it 15 minutes to settle, and pour that on a clean cloth so that it isn't like, soaking wet, but its damp, and dab the stains with it.
    always works on everything else.
    Don't use peroxide. It could ruin the suede.
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    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepsi View Post
    Don't use peroxide. It could ruin the suede.
    I don't see why it would, I've used it on materials that are a lot more sensitive than suede, like actual leather. Although the leather was a little bit lighter in that area, it was only noticable if you knew where to look.

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    Superfly Pepsi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    I don't see why it would, I've used it on materials that are a lot more sensitive than suede, like actual leather. Although the leather was a little bit lighter in that area, it was only noticable if you knew where to look.
    That's exactly why. It deteriorates the material.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

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    beautiful dirty rich Nadia's Avatar
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    Try using saliva, that combined with your tongue should get them right out!

    Next time, don't let the stains set.
    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
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    Senior Member Killuminati's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
    Try using saliva, that combined with your tongue should get them right out!

    Next time, don't let the stains set.
    Best advice itt.

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    kiss my sweaty balls benzss's Avatar
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    well done bifford this is hilarious

    ha ha ha ha ha

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    Senior Member lolturnip's Avatar
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    Use vinegar. I hear that solves all problems!

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    McTroy MrTroy's Avatar
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    Cover the ENTIRE couch in similar stains to make it all, one big stain, so it matches!

    Joking aside, with suede, just have a company come clean it.
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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    ugh goddamn it sir bifford your access to PS should be revoked and this post should be burnt and its ashes be treated as biohazardous waste just like your nasty fucking disgusting couch

    in the future if you're going to... oh god i'm so disgusted i can barely write this post... use a goddamn washable covering for your couch like a thick cheap quilt

    otherwise you're going to have to use a professional cleaner, period. ugh.


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    Senior Member Sir Bifford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    ugh goddamn it sir bifford your access to PS should be revoked and this post should be burnt and its ashes be treated as biohazardous waste just like your nasty fucking disgusting couch

    in the future if you're going to... oh god i'm so disgusted i can barely write this post... use a goddamn washable covering for your couch like a thick cheap quilt

    otherwise you're going to have to use a professional cleaner, period. ugh.
    Hey now. Stop trolling PS or I'll have to report ya. Then Sol will come after you with her paddle stick.
    Last edited by Sir Bifford; 12-30-2008 at 04:20 PM.

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Soz let's never fight again ;_;


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    kiss my sweaty balls benzss's Avatar
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    bifford i'm pretty sure you're just wazzup

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    Senior Member Nick2.1's Avatar
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    You can stain the whole couch and say it's a Indian sticky couch.

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