Thread: My dreams are unreachable; and not reaching them will kill me.

I am a dude with an artist's work-ethic and a data entry technician's creativity.

It's not that I don't work hard. When I have a project I care about - I mean, really care about - I put every screed of myself on the line to make it as good as I can. Everything else in life... eh, fuck that.

I don't know who to be. Scratch that. I don't know WHAT to be. I yearn to live the creative life. Write books, act, be a musician. My secret dream is to be an animator and make movies like the great Disney classics (...only, I can't draw). But I'm paralyzed with these two fears: one, that I'll waste my life toiling and stay obscure, and get no chance to make or work on something great, and two, that I'm untalented and boring anyway. I could apply myself and learn music, or try to teach myself to draw and go be an animator but for every successful Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks/whatever artist, there's a guy sketching caricatures at the mall, or washed up as a lecturer at some bottom-rung art school, or animating crude hentai for dirty money.

I've got a job, I've got a degree, I've got a huge group of friends I love and adore, some of whom will go on to be huge in their creative fields, there's no doubt. But I just can't spend my life at some schmuck job, wishing I was making something instead of just consuming.

I don't know what to do with myself. Trying to make a career out of creativity scares me, and I can't escape the knowledge that I'm just not good enough. Not making a career out of creativity will kill me, or leave me crying in the shower in ten years or attempting to drink away my long-shrivelled-up dreams.

I sound so damn melodramatic, but I feel like a defective model. Bad programming. Behavioural parameters out of reach of capability.

Creativity can be learned. Start small. Write some poems. Join an acting class. Start drawing. Yeah you're going to suck at first (or maybe you won't). But that's not the point. The more you do creative things, the more creative you become. If you want to be an animator, learn everything you can about animation. Join an art class. Make animated shorts. Again, yeah they may suck at first, but contrary to what you may believe, no one starts out awesome at anything.

It's pointless to waste your life saying "I could have, would have, should have..." Yes it's going to be hard work, yes it's going to take a lot of time (and unless you're like 60, you have plenty of time), and yes you may feel like a failure some of the time, but you're never going anywhere unless you actually try. And you know that guy drawing caricatures at the mall or that washed up lecturer or that guy animating hentai, those people are still on the journey or perhaps they just didn't try hard enough.

Oh just thought of something...

CG animation. That's a more technical type of animation and doesn't exactly require drawing skills.

Originally Posted by ShitFace

I was also going to suggest computer animation.
It is something that can be learnt, you don't need any particular artistic skills, and its creative.

Originally Posted by KT.

Oh just thought of something...

CG animation. That's a more technical type of animation and doesn't exactly require drawing skills.

I don't mean this insultingly, just matter-of-factly, but you guys have no idea.

The artistry and visual talent that goes into (any decent) computer animation is IMMENSE.

Anyway.

Thanks, Think. That's advice I've not heard before. Gave me something to think about.

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I don't mean this insultingly, just matter-of-factly, but you guys have no idea.

The artistry and visual talent that goes into (any decent) computer animation is IMMENSE.

Anyway.

Thanks, Think. That's advice I've not heard before. Gave me something to think about.

Not trying to be argumentative, but yeah I know. I'm just saying, I don't think you necessarily have to be good at drawing or traditional animation to do well in computer animation.

Originally Posted by KT.

Not trying to be argumentative, but yeah I know. I'm just saying, I don't think you necessarily have to be good at drawing or traditional animation to do well in computer animation.

Being the resident Pixar fanatic, I'll jump in here and disagree. Not only are you essentially useless to a studio like Disney/Pixar if all you can do artistically is animate on a computer (because you have to be able to sketch out things quickly to show directors if you have an idea, and you also basically have to be an all-rounder talent for a studio to hire you -- because they can afford to only hire the best, let's face it), but the fact is that visual artistic talent is a lot like musical talent: it's in your head, not your hands. If you can't draw (I mean if you can't make a basically passable sketch that's indicative of your vision), then it's because you just don't have a mind for visual art. It's not because your hands won't do what your brain is envisioning.

well it has me talking about pixar, disagreeing with kt, failing to say anything useful and two sets of parentheses in a single paragraph so yeah i'd say it's pretty typical gwahir right there

Originally Posted by Think

wrong - difference between talented and non talented people who don't work at it is sometimes negligible
difference between talented and non talented people who do is always significant; I may play a good chess game if I hone, but I will never be grandmaster material

OP; the usual stuff - try to choose a medium but keep it broad if you must; make sure you have a lot of sources of stimulation, chiefly art but also stuff you have not explored and even have no interest in (Good for breaking esablished patterns, giving you that "on edge/uncomfortable" feeling that is conducive to good art, and allowing you novel perspectives). Hold onto anything that strikes you; the more obscure and the more semantically/sensually/linguistically vivid the better; nurture the idea and develop it as much as you can, rinse and repeat; hold onto good ideas, let them coalesce.
The fact that it's bothering you is a good sign for your potential; those who can most often want to more.

Well this is utterly untrue. Behind just about every "talented" person is an opportunity and desire to hone a craft as well as an immense volume of time spent in meaningful practice.

All "talent" is going to affect is the support and opportunity you have; if you honestly want it, and are willing to work at it tirelessly, you can learn just about any skill.