I'll cut right to the chase and not bother with anonymity because, frankly, I feel like venting, which requires at least SOME openness.

Does anyone here know anything, or have any experience with, getting a diagnosis of depression? Getting counselling? Etc.

I basically know how to get one (start with GP, ???, profit)... I guess I'm just looking for any advice, ideas, or feelings people have on the matter.

For a few years I have, in a sort of sick way, craved a diagnosis of depression, so my occasionally extreme periods of sadness could be somehow legitimised; so I could at least tell myself I'm sad because my brain sucks, and not because my life does. But I've never really given it much consideration, mostly because when I'm really down, I'm always really down about something. My future, my talent, my love life and connection with other people, and so on. As well as that, I have a considerable family history of depression, and my observation of the depressed people in my life suggested they were hurting a lot more than I ever was. It's only now that I'm starting to really consider the possibility, because of the trouble I've had in the past few weeks just holding on to myself.

There's a recurring feeling that my friends with their various mental health issues (artists ) speak of, which is the feeling of uncontrollable slipping -- the feeling I've had over the past three weeks or so is that I've slipped, and fallen in, and been buried alive. I've had it before, just not this bad.

Anyway, that's the vent. Now I guess I just want people's thoughts.