I'm just about to finish my first quarter of college, finals are next week. I really hate it so far. In the past 3 months I haven't made a single friend. Lately I've been ditching my classes. I already know i am going to fail 1 of them, i'll be lucky to get B/Cs in the other 2 classes(i think i'll probably fail them though). I'm not really motivated to do any work for school or read. Like right now i have a 1800 word paper due tomorrow and i'm not even going to do it, i might over the weekend though. I really hate this whole college thing, everyone says its the best time of your life, but i fucking hate it. My dad thinks college is so fucking important, he thinks if i go to college and get a degree then i will be set for the rest of my life. Me and my dad don't really share the same values, I really want to get much more different things out of life than him, and all he wants me to do is go to college get a degree and become a successful business man who has a boring ass job but its alright because of the paycheck.

I have a close group of friends from high school, but lately we've all been falling apart. I'm really good friends with one of them(John), but the others im not as close to anymore. Like before we all used to call eachother to hang out, now the only time i see the other people in the group is when we do things where everyone is invited which still happens because we usually have parties once or twice a week.

I have a decent job, i make $10/hr. I've had the job since I was 16(Different position, just worked my way up). I want to get a better job, i've been looking around and i am sure i can find one.. the only problem is alot of places drug test.

I'm pretty into drugs. I smoke weed pretty much every day, sometimes many times a day. Today i actually didnt smoke any, yesterday i smoked out like 6 times. I go to raves with my friends once or twice a month, i usually roll once a month. I've done shrooms and acid too, i would do those more, but they are hard to come by.

I think I am kind of growing out of my friends from high school. Most of them are still seniors in high school, while me and this other girl are freshman in college. It really sucks because I don't have any other friends, and i haven't made any new friends in college. Seriously what the fuck, i mean in high school i wasn't like "popular" or anything, but i had a lot of friends and always got invited to parties. Now i just walk around the huge campus without knowing anyone. I'm not even joking, if i never went there again no one would care, no one would even notice.

I really want to move out. Right now living at home is screwing up my responsibility. Ex: My dad went out of town for a week and while he was gone, I noticed while he was gone I really got a lot more stuff done than I usually do. Without him being there I really know that I need to get things done, but with him there I feel like i don't really need to do anything because I know he's going to nag at me to do it so i just wait for the nagging. If i do move out it probably wont be until my friends graduate, right now i don't really make enough money and the only way i could would be to take part in more illegal activity.

This turned out kinda longer than I had anticipated, I guess it's more of a rant. But I really want to change, I mean I want to do well in college, but right now I just hate it. I probably need to stop doing drugs, so I'll probably be doing that start of next year.

But please, any advice will be helpful.