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Thread: I had an idea for a story, would it be worth my while even trying to develop it any?

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    Default I had an idea for a story, would it be worth my while even trying to develop it any?

    Title says it all. I mean I aint a writer but I had this idea from a dream that I had a few weeks back. The dream was influenced by Heroes, I think I might have saw it before I went to bed.

    It's about a dude with superpowers and he is paranoid about people finding out it causes all kinds of mental turmoil. He works as a teacher as teaching kids his sibject allows him to be totally consumed in it. He also has another problem, because of his great power, he knows he doesn't need to take shit from anyone, but because of his fear he has to keep his cool at all times and it tortures him, so he does some light vigilante work on the side, now and then.

    Then one night he stops a prowler from snatching a kid, but it turns out he was stealing the kid to order for an arch paedophile, who also has super powers. The peedo is very small with a big head, pale white skin and wild eyes, with a high pitched voice and he often uses his appearance to masquerade as a kid to get close to them then rapes and murders them. More and more bodies appear and a massive police hunt is launched to find this dude.

    One day the hero goes into his class to find the paedo, dressed in an old style school uniform at the back of his class on a PC, downloading porn, just before his class was due to enter. He stops the kids from going in and gets one of his superiors to come confront this stranger, the paedo turns round with a gun, the hero gets his superior out of the way then rushes the peado, apparently knocking him out. However he gets back up and makes a dash for the window (its a 2nd floor one) and the hero chases, they both crash to the floor below.

    Both are surprised at how neither is hurt, then they start to realise that they might have more in common, he paedo tries to get away and the hero stops him, but he is holding back, he doesn't want anyone to know what he is capable of and the paedo catches onto this. The paedo tells him that if the cops get him, he will get away and kill again. The hero knows this to be true and is thrown a terrible dilemma. The cops come and he paedo is taken away, with a strange grin on his face. The hero knows it is only a matter of time before he escapes but is paralysed with fear to act, he cannot risk his secret coming out.

    The cops question the hero and the lead detective is certain that he knows more than he lets on. On the way to the cop station the paedo scapes, brutually murdering the cops with him and snatches a kid, ten goes into hiding. The hero knows that this is a taunt at him, that only he can stop the paedo, but is too scared to act.

    I like the idea from Heroes about the person behind the power and this was meant to explore what effect having superpowers could have on a person. Our hero is in many ways crippled because of it and is often in dispair at his situation, he also fears his power and what could happen if he lost control, as he goes through life the monster within builds, light vigilante work helps ease this but he feels like he is being pushed closer towards the edge, I think it is a nice slant on the superhero genre.

    The cops get a tip off about the paedo's whereabouts and our hero learns it and decides it is now or never and goes to confront the paedo before the cops get there. He knows he must kill him and feels like his whole life has been building towards this moment. He fights the paedo and wins and for a short moment the monster within is unleashed, just as the cops turn up to see our hero wrench the paedo's head from his neck to the tune of a bestial roar. He falls to his knees, in an emotional limbo.

    The boy is safe, he had been saved, but at what cost to our hero? He is sent to jail for murdering the paedo in the way that he did, he is even more on the edge, he knows jail will offer him all kinds of confrontation, that his monster will strive on but he doesn't want. The story ends with him in the shower, some guys come up to him and give him shit, one is behind him one is in front, taunting him, telling him what he is going to do to him. This pushes him over the edge, he flies his head backwards, crushing the face of the prisoner behind him, then he grabs the head of the one in front and smashes it into the wall, shattering the tile work. Then, like with the paedo, he rips the prisoners head off, holding it aloft for all to see. And it ends with the guards coming in to see our now mad hero showering in the blood of the prisoner, laughing maniaclly(sp).

    That was the rough premise behind the idea. Does anyone think this might be worth trying to develop into a proper story? Obviously it would need a fair bit of work, fleshing out the character better, working more on his phsychology which is the main focus of the story, along with his tales of minor crime fighting and the whole paedo thing. He is basically tortured by his powers, his fear about being discovered builds anger in him that starts to build a monster in him.

    So, to my original question, would this even be worth trying to develop? I know, I know, I aint a writer, so even trying to would take a long time and alot of work, I am mainly interested in whether or not anyone thinks the premise itself would be worthy?

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    I loves sausage festival! djwolford's Avatar
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    Well, it it's something that you're interested in writing, I'd say go for it. It sounds pretty entertaining to me.
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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    stereotypical story with indications of some weird sexual issues on the author's part


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    Quote Originally Posted by gismo View Post
    It's about a dude with superpowers and he is paranoid about people finding out it causes all kinds of mental turmoil. He works as a teacher as teaching kids his sibject allows him to be totally consumed in it. He also has another problem, because of his great power, he knows he doesn't need to take shit from anyone, but because of his fear he has to keep his cool at all times and it tortures him, so he does some light vigilante work on the side, now and then.
    Sounds like Spider-man. (Great power, lol)

    Or pretty much any super hero.

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    Scito Te Ipsum TheOriginalGrumpySpy's Avatar
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    The flawed fucking hero.

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    Senior Member Infernus's Avatar
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    what if your superpowers were that you could have any superpower you want as long as no one else has ever thought of it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Infernus View Post
    what if your superpowers were that you could have any superpower you want as long as no one else has ever thought of it.
    So he wouldn't have any super powers?

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    Senior Member Infernus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KT_ View Post
    So he wouldn't have any super powers?
    are you saying every single superpower has been thought of?

    like the power to grow paper out of your arms for instance. but if that power did exist he couldnt use that one and all his enemies would have to do is think about what hes doing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Infernus View Post
    are you saying every single superpower has been thought of?

    like the power to grow paper out of your arms for instance. but if that power did exist he couldnt use that one and all his enemies would have to do is think about what hes doing.
    Well that's pathetic. He'd get to use his superpowers for about 6 seconds before his enemies realised what he was doing and then he couldn't do it any more.

    And what if his enemies think "his superpower must be that he can have any superpower he wants that hasn't been thought of unless someone thinks of it".

    Boom, no more superpowers at all.

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    Scito Te Ipsum TheOriginalGrumpySpy's Avatar
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    I would have the ability to poop 2 pound bricks of Sour Patch Kids.

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    the eagle
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    Like your story, hate the ending. Haaaatttteee the ending.

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    Also, just read the story properly and I've got to say it would be a horrible experience to read that.

    BUT it would make a pretty good graphic novel. So if you can work out a plot in detail and write a bit of a script and then maybe find an artist to work with then you might have something half-marketable. But people would think your story was a rip off of Alan Moore.

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    Senior Member Infernus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalGrumpySpy View Post
    I would have the ability to poop 2 pound bricks of Sour Patch Kids.
    that would be sweet.

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalReynolds View Post
    Like your story, hate the ending. Haaaatttteee the ending.
    This, except the story is kind of cliched and uninteresting. And disgusting. Why would anyone read it? It seems like getting into a story like this would just reveal weird and twisted sexual issues on the part of the reader.

    EDIT: didn't see this

    Quote Originally Posted by sycld View Post
    stereotypical story with indications of some weird sexual issues on the author's part

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    feel like funkin' it up gwahir's Avatar
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    Also, just reaffirming that it is the worst ending I could possibly imagine. Really, really, really, really, really terrible. Just stupid. Awful.

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    Senior Member Infernus's Avatar
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    end it with him getting raped

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    This, except the story is kind of cliched and uninteresting. And disgusting. Why would anyone read it? It seems like getting into a story like this would just reveal weird and twisted sexual issues on the part of the reader.

    EDIT: didn't see this
    lulz sexually compatiblegreat minds think alike


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    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheOriginalGrumpySpy View Post
    I would have the ability to poop 2 pound bricks of Sour Patch Kids.
    Quote Originally Posted by Infernus View Post
    that would be sweet.
    I would think the Sour Patch Kids would be covered in his shit. Also mentioning that his spinchter might be distended, maybe so lose it would hang and dangle from his crevasse that if he were to walk nude it would look like something to the effect of that thing you do to get the pink sock.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
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    windmills of your mind Think's Avatar
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    Yeah basically the watchmen with lots more cliches and (presumably) bad writing thrown in. Oh and yeah the ending is completely awful. So yeah, write and publish it .

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    λεγιων ονομα μοι sycld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Oh and yeah the ending is completely awful.
    Quote Originally Posted by gismo View Post
    And it ends with the guards coming in to see our now mad hero showering in the blood of the prisoner, laughing maniaclly(sp).
    Just like the summary, the actual novel should end with "maniaclly(sp)." I think that would be an appropriate ending to this literary Hindenburg.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Think View Post
    Yeah basically the watchmen with lots more cliches and (presumably) bad writing thrown in. Oh and yeah the ending is completely awful. So yeah, write and publish it .
    Think is Godzilla in the city of dreams.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
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    Stories are a creation formed by the author. No one can really determine whether it will be interesting/entertaining/thought provoking/ or ridiculous unless you allow your imagination to flow freely on paper. I say write the story and publish it here. Then we could all give you our honost opinions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stylez View Post
    Stories are a creation formed by the author. No one can really determine whether it will be interesting/entertaining/thought provoking/ or ridiculous unless you allow your imagination to flow freely on paper. I say write the story and publish it here. Then we could all give you our honost opinions.
    Or we can all say it's shit to look macho on the internet.

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    the eagle
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    Yeah, because being honest is super macho.

    Look, this was a pitch meeting. And the pitch failed. That's all.

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    Scito Te Ipsum TheOriginalGrumpySpy's Avatar
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    Alright, I got this show. It's about nothing.

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