I've gotta say, the dates that I've been on that have been purposeful and intended were just plain unenjoyable. Every action for both parties has always seemed so formulated, cliche, and unenthusiastic. It's those instances when I spend time with someone and the both of us realize, "Hey, this was kind of a date, wasn't it?" that I enjoy the most.

As for a specific instance, I guess I could single out the entire later half of my high school career. I was infatuated with a girl who clearly enjoyed my company (and I her's), but didn't want to make the relationship anything other than a close friendship with the exception of several individual weeklong periods of "going out". Hey, nothing against her at all; the term "friendzoned" is a weak fucking term used by whiney shitbags who can't accept that sometimes people just don't want to be with you.

Looking back on it, I know I definitely, at the time, didn't enjoy the dates we went on, but my not-so-high self-esteem convinced me that the dates failed because of me. Looking back on it, it was a combination of us being incompatible and her being a less than stellar character. She was a semi-manipulative, fundamentalist Christian, small town girl. Despite our mutual appreciation for each other, we shared almost no views or interests. When we'd go out to eat, we'd have nothing to talk about except how shitty her family life was. When we went to dances, she was too self-conscious to dance. When it came to anything physical, she was absolutely against it. Still, like a silly high schooler, I pined for her until the middle of my freshmen year of college. I think what snapped me out of it was she expressed her hesitance to hang out with the lowest hick trash she had met at her college and drink their toilet hooch, but did anyway. Stopped talking to her for a couple of years after that.

After feelings of forgiveness brought on by a dissociative drug trip, I reconciled with her. Everything's all friendly now, but I definitely have no feelings for her anymore. Feels good.