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Thread: I almost commited fratricide.

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    Default I almost commited fratricide.

    There I was, all curled up in my bed and just about to go off to dream land when I start hearing weird noises. Groggily I get up, step out into the hallway and continue to hear clattering and thumping sounds.The sounds are easy to track because they are coming from the room next to my own. I peer into the empty room and see someone outside the window trying to jimmy it open with a stick. Since it was dark outside and the person trying to break in was wearing all black, my still sleepy brain registered the person as a thief and told me to take action. I calmly went back into my room, grab my .357 and stood in the doorway, waiting for the idiot to enter the window where I would stick the gun in his face.

    I wasn't sure if I were awake enough or had the balls enough to actually shoot, but I'd figure that out later. Oddly enough the thought of calling the cops did cross my mind but only after I grabbed my gun. I then figured by the time I went back into my room to grab my cell, I'd lose the element of surprise, so no 911 calls yet.

    Finally the window slides open, and the soon-to-be-shot thief ducks into my house. I have no idea why, but it was at that moment I flipped on the room lights and raised the pistol while I shouted "Stop!"

    My brother looks up at me and almost shits himself.

    I almost die laughing.

    Apparently my brother had left his keys at his girlfriend's house and didn't know I was home. He remembered that one of our windows doesn't have a lock on it and decided to get in that way. Of course that was the window in the room next to my room. So now that we had a good laugh about it, I put the gun away and placed a dowel in the window so it can't be jimmied.

    All in all, the sound of a B and E isn't the greatest way to start your day.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

  2. #2
    FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU Anonymous D's Avatar
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    All you said was "Stop!"?

    Man I would have atleast said something like "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND BEFORE I BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT FAGGOT!!!"

    Or maybe a "PUSSIES ON THE PAVEMENT MOTHER FUCKER!!!"


    Also, pics of .357?

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    mutton mutton's Avatar
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    and when you blew his head off you would have said,

    no brains, no worries

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous D View Post
    All you said was "Stop!"?

    Man I would have atleast said something like "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND BEFORE I BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT FAGGOT!!!"

    Or maybe a "PUSSIES ON THE PAVEMENT MOTHER FUCKER!!!"


    Also, pics of .357?
    I was tired and hoping that a big ass revolver would be more threatening then me.

    For pics
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...aser_Sight.jpg

    This one has a laser sight on it that I am looking to get, but I bought a pair of speed loaders last month so I am not planning on any more accessories for a while.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    Prime Minister of Oztraya paulyt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mutton View Post
    and when you blew his head off you would have said,

    no brains, no worries
    Brilliant.

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    That's great!! Man i bet he pissed himself. Close call.

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    Canned Kal El's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HopeYouDie View Post
    That's great!! Man i bet he pissed himself. Close call.
    Go straight to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
    Quote Originally Posted by KT_ View Post
    Yes.

    Yesterday I was playing the Mirror's Edge demo while a dude was eating me out. Mirror's Edge is fucking awesome. I'm excited.
    Quote Originally Posted by victrola View Post
    he may be a faggot but in this case he is correct

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    Please dont put a laser on a revolver unless it the crimson trace laser.

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    has hairy legs Janglez's Avatar
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    Quoting Dane Cook and no one noticed. Fail.

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    ))) joke, relax ;) coqauvin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janglez View Post
    Quoting Dane Cook and no one noticed. Fail.
    let me fix that for you

    dane cook is not funny

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    A very manly muppet Mad Pino Rage's Avatar
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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by mutton View Post
    and when you blew his head off you would have said,

    no brains, no worries
    I squeeked trying to cover my laugh.
    Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
    Albert Einstein

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    It's called siblicide

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    Quote Originally Posted by W1F3B34T3R View Post
    It's called siblicide
    Fratricide is when you kill a brother. Thanks for playing.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    Senior Member Nauticat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by no_brains_no_worries View Post
    Fratricide is when you kill a brother. Thanks for playing.
    I had a brother once...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nauticat View Post
    I had a brother once...
    Was he the twin that you consumed when still in the womb?
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    Sexual Deviant Vengeful Scars's Avatar
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    I came here expecting a story about you hearing your parents fucking... to which I would have said that's "patricide".

    Also Jangelz where is the dane cook quote?
    lik dis if u cry evertim
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. E View Post
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    Oh I was expecting a guide to making meth

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    Senior Member bacon ops's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by no_brains_no_worries View Post
    There I was, all curled up in my bed and just about to go off to dream land when I start hearing weird noises. Groggily I get up, step out into the hallway and continue to hear clattering and thumping sounds.The sounds are easy to track because they are coming from the room next to my own. I peer into the empty room and see someone outside the window trying to jimmy it open with a stick. Since it was dark outside and the person trying to break in was wearing all black, my still sleepy brain registered the person as a thief and told me to take action. I calmly went back into my room, grab my .357 and stood in the doorway, waiting for the idiot to enter the window where I would stick the gun in his face.

    I wasn't sure if I were awake enough or had the balls enough to actually shoot, but I'd figure that out later. Oddly enough the thought of calling the cops did cross my mind but only after I grabbed my gun. I then figured by the time I went back into my room to grab my cell, I'd lose the element of surprise, so no 911 calls yet.

    Finally the window slides open, and the soon-to-be-shot thief ducks into my house. I have no idea why, but it was at that moment I flipped on the room lights and raised the pistol while I shouted "Stop!"

    My brother looks up at me and almost shits himself.

    I almost die laughing.

    Apparently my brother had left his keys at his girlfriend's house and didn't know I was home. He remembered that one of our windows doesn't have a lock on it and decided to get in that way. Of course that was the window in the room next to my room. So now that we had a good laugh about it, I put the gun away and placed a dowel in the window so it can't be jimmied.

    All in all, the sound of a B and E isn't the greatest way to start your day.

    Holy balls.
    Maybe now you can start constructing a plan as to your actions?
    My brother and I had a response plan that we'd actually practice every semester.


    Well done.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bacon ops View Post
    Holy balls.
    Maybe now you can start constructing a plan as to your actions?
    My brother and I had a response plan that we'd actually practice every semester.


    Well done.
    Wow. I actually did not even consider that until you pointed that out. I'm not really sure how to go about this. There is a gun in every bedroom of our house and we have some pretty sturdy doors and locks. Since that incident I also put a stopper in every window...so, we're kinda locked up tight. What else is there to do?
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    Loose it completely and practice a response plan every semester.
    That is the only way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by no_brains_no_worries View Post
    Wow. I actually did not even consider that until you pointed that out. I'm not really sure how to go about this. There is a gun in every bedroom of our house and we have some pretty sturdy doors and locks. Since that incident I also put a stopper in every window...so, we're kinda locked up tight. What else is there to do?
    Alarm.
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepsi View Post
    Alarm.
    That costs cash though, something I am rather short on.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    Quote Originally Posted by no_brains_no_worries View Post
    That costs cash though, something I am rather short on.
    And you bought guns with what?

    Blowjobs and chiclets?
    I hear the voices inside my head. They counsel me. They understand. They talk to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by djwolford View Post
    You know, when Tidus points out that you have failed at internetting, it's probably time to go ahead and off yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by gwahir View Post
    pepsi reserves the right to tell cryptic to get out at any time

    it's in the CD charter

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepsi View Post
    And you bought guns with what?

    Blowjobs and chiclets?
    Im willing to bet they were handed down.

    I have like 15 guns and Ive only BOUGHT 3.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous D View Post
    Im willing to bet they were handed down.

    I have like 15 guns and Ive only BOUGHT 3.
    Yeah, most of them are from my granddad who just ran out of space for his newer stock.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozzy View Post
    He came to the states for his birthday and now he's going home in a body bag. That's what you get for sending your child to Utah.
    Quote Originally Posted by raghead View Post
    i would have whipped out my dick in that situation
    Quote Originally Posted by KT. View Post
    News flash, guys can't get pregnant from vaginal sex either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Atmoscheer View Post
    But what is their policy on winning the hearts and minds through forcible vaginal entry?

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    Senior Member Infernus's Avatar
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    cool i shot a gun once

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    Senior Member bacon ops's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by no_brains_no_worries View Post
    Wow. I actually did not even consider that until you pointed that out. I'm not really sure how to go about this. There is a gun in every bedroom of our house and we have some pretty sturdy doors and locks. Since that incident I also put a stopper in every window...so, we're kinda locked up tight. What else is there to do?
    Ours was this (generic, of course, since he moved out and it's changed)

    It should be unique to the lay out of your house.

    Our apartment was small, with the bedroom doors facing eachother, but at the same time letting us see the front(only) door.

    1.) grab weapon, and light, chamber round, move to center of room and scan outside.

    2.) move to door post, wake up brother(toss tactical shoe at him) if sleeping or if he's already at his doorpost start scanning living room for cause of disturbance.

    3.) point your gun at the cause of the disturbance, safety off FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER, call out to person if someone's there, to make sure they know your intentions.

    A lot of people say that this will put you in danger. I don't give a shit. If I do something from shooting a human being, I'm gonna do it, even if it puts my safety at risk.

    4.) do something to save our lives or property if need be.


    other plans for dudes coming into the bedroom window, obviously.



    I know this seems like junk you would know to do if something went down, but as you probably realized, it's hard to think in a stressful situation.

    practice it until you act on your plan without thinking.


    I think you did pretty good though.

  27. #27
    Senior Member Killuminati's Avatar
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    At least your house didn't get robbed.

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