So it's 1am and I get a phone call from a furious guest at the hotel that I work at. He rants that the room next to his has their TV so loud that it's rattling his walls. After taking some misdirected abuse, I tell him that no worries, I'll get it all sorted out. Now this is the bullshit I have to go through.

1) Call the room.No answer.
2) Go to the room and pound on the door and yes, their TV is playing so loud that I can hear it down the hall before I even get near the room. No answer at the door.
3) Go all the way back to the front desk, call my boss and inform him of the situation.
4) Get permission to go into the room.

This is where I get ninja and a little shook up.

I go back to the room armed with the hotel master key. I pound once again on the door, calling the guest's name. Now at this time, I'm thinking "Hey, they must have preset their TV and left the room." Still, I gotta cover my ass so after open the door I announce myself as loudly as I could.

Now as it turns out the TV to the guest's bedroom is on, and blaring. Problem is, the guest is laying on the bed, washed in the TV's blue light and not much else. Now the guest is a Miss, and here I am, a 5'11 300+ man/stranger standing in her doorway while she is dead to the world.

Speaking of dead, at first I thought she was until I heard the sound of her snoring.

So now, if this nude sleeping Miss wakes up, I can see tomorrow's headlines "Hotel Rapist caught!" "Master Key Molester at **** Hotel!"

Needless to say, I am worried. So I play it safe. I call loudly "Miss, can you hear me?"

Repeat this for five minutes.

Nothing.

That's when I see, sitting on her night stand, two massive, grandma sized hearing aids. Damn. She's deaf as a doornail apparently (as if I haven't figured that out already). So now, seeing that I have to act anyway, I slip carefully into her bedroom and head over to the TV. After hitting every fucking button on the goddamn TV, I finally find the power button in the dark and turn it off.

With the TV light off, I'm fucking blind but I hear the bed squeak. I become a blur as I fly outta that room, praying to every God I know that she is just rolling over in her sleep and haven't been awoken by me.

Even though this event happened about half an hour ago, I am still waiting for several cops to come barging into the hotel, explaining they have reason to believe some psycho is breaking into hotel rooms.