This thread is for your own, original, unique quotations that you're particularly proud of.
It is NOT for quotes made by someone else.
I'll start:
"My cat has taught me that happiness is food, water, love, and a dignified place to go poop."
This thread is for your own, original, unique quotations that you're particularly proud of.
It is NOT for quotes made by someone else.
I'll start:
"My cat has taught me that happiness is food, water, love, and a dignified place to go poop."
You should go to the bathroom or somewhere private to masturbate.
EDIT: Was replying to the thread not playing along with the thread.
"Quoting yourself is like mental masturbation."
like 10 years ago
"in conclusion, atmosfear is an idiot"
nermy stole that from jiffy
it's possible but I don't remember
"This song is about Jesus...or it's about Romeo and Juliet. I can't tell."
"I don't wear tight pants anymore. I had a bad experience with sweat pants and my mother."
"The girls from Hey Dude built a factory to undress me and to prepare me for pleasureful acts."
"I live vicariously through the fat men on Price is Right."
"I think I got in my pants with my sheets."
"I've cut you before and I will cut you again!"
"My shoulder is not a vagina. In fact, I have a penis."
"Sometimes my lymphatic system attacks my embryonic embrionauts."
"My testicles are in the middle of a village that hasn't been touched in a long time - in the rainforest even."
"He only did it because of my awesome t-shirt."
...yeah, my friends like to chronicle the dumb things I say
This is a song.
It is a song about ping-pong.
"Jesus tapdancin' Christ"
"Tears is nature's soap"
"It's so wrong and yet it feels so right. Like sex with children"
"See you next tuesday. Cunt."
"Yo mama so ugly she got low self esteem and poor body image which results in clinical depression"
i don't record the awesome things i say
it is all spur of the moment
Spur of the moment things can still be remembered. You just don't say anything memorable.
or i say too many memorable things to remember
Or you have a rare verbally-induced amnesia.
i tend to say my best stuff when my company is too drunk to understand, just out of earshot or asleep, so i say it for myself, chuckle solitarily and shed a brief, lonely tear
I hate it when I say something really clever but my friends are too thick to get it and they laugh politely and say something like "what are you like!" which translates as "you're weird, weirdy weirdo!".
Also, dead baby references do not go down well when there's a pregnant girl in the room.
i think i would enjoy that
"if it’s .jpeg you know where it’s from"
"Killer Wails: The Opera"
otherwise i don't make sense in any of victrola's chatlogs
Last edited by mutton; 03-31-2009 at 12:24 AM.
i just lost the bear
"Every idea is a good idea until it sours through fire or failure."
"If you haven't done anything stupid in a while, you've become a pussy because God knows you haven't gotten any smarter."
"This can't end well but I'll watch anyway."
"Every house should have an orgy room."
"That stained easier then I thought."
-woofness; an impersonation of niggers."You seeing this fellas? Or did your lips get in the way of your eyes?"
- woofness"I would love to see myself hideously addicted to crack"
- woofness; in conversation with Think"The first step towards wisdom is the acceptance of ones own ignorance"
(I doubt I am the first to have said the last one, but I cannot recall where or if I heard it before)
ok, the two events i remember best are my friend and I altering reality with our japery.
Eating a massive competition breakfast, and delerious on the sheer amount of greasy breakfast meat i had consumed, me and matt came up with the idea of a ham smoothie, which is just a hock of ham thrown in a blender. we would turn it into the flagship food of our porky restaurant, and even sketched out a logo of a pig giving a thumbs up sitting in a blender.
I later found out that at ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME TIME, fucking 150 KM away, while we were making this joke, my faggot friend peter was putting a hock of ham into a blender with mayonnaise and barbeque sauce. (we double-checked the timing by cold-calling his friends and demanding to know what he was doing thursday evening at 6pm, and the answer was ham smoothies) wtf?
The other was being all ripped on cocaine and, after pulling an all-nighter, calling my jew friend ian and leasving 7 or so messages at his house, all off the wall, non-sensible, half-baked, all-vulgar ones, and in this demanding that he open up his Jew safe to give his legacy of doubloons. We stressed how much we wanted the half-doubloons and half-pennies that we knew he had, because Jews make sure they have exact change, and use their razor-sharp jew teeth to chew through coins to make them.
the next day, my buddy gord, who helped us with the messages, went to work on his golf course (run by jews) and found half of a penny on the ground, with bite marks around it. wtf?
edit: I'm going to talk to matt, becasue we used to write down the insane shit we talked about on our drug-ridden all nighters. if i find the papers we wrote, i'll post some of the better ones.
Last edited by coqauvin; 04-02-2009 at 12:10 PM.
"Black and white between the sheets produces mongrels in our streets."
You know, mixing the races creates stronger progeny.
show me your progeny, your progeny (what)
show me your progeny
PROGENITALIA
"OMG WHY WOULD YOU EVER CARRY A GUN IN YOUR POCKET!?!?!"
"To scratch mah nards"
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